Hm. Interesting vignette: As I finished a mock-up of how I would do the wire for a wing-frame, I sat there holding the abstract idea of a wing in my hands, singing "Part of Your World" from the Little Mermaid, the lyrics of which I know all too well. In case you're not familiar:

what would I give if I could live out of these waters,
what would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand
up there on land, they understand, they don't reprimand their daughters--
bright young women sick of swimmin', ready to stand,
and ready to know what the people know
ask them my questions, and get some answers
what's a fire, and why does it, what's the word, burn?
when's it my turn, wouldn't I love,
love to explore that world up above
wandering free, wish I could be part of that world

(And that's straight from memory, folks.) But it was that "wandering free" line that clicked it for me. I'm holding the beginning of a pair of wings, singing a song about yearning to be free. I even wrote, a couple entries ago, "At first I envisioned the wings attached to some sort of strappy leather harness--as though the set of wings on the wall were like a canoe on the wall and you could just take them down, don them, and fly off."

What's the deal? I didn't realize I was feeling so trapped. I don't even know what it is that I feel so trapped by.

I'd like to study this phenomenon closely. I'm going to keep a separate wing journal. Only about the making of this set of wings. The details, the process, everything that I have to do in order to make these wings and mount them, and the things that my mind goes through in direct relation to the wings. I'll add a link once I have it set up. This way you don't have to read about the minutiae if you don't want to. Because there will be minutiae, make no mistake about it.

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Later: Okay, now THIS song is in my head. Again, all from memory:

gonna make a change for once in my life
gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference,
gonna make it right
as I turn up the collar on my favorite winter coat
this wind is blowing my mind
I see the kids in the street without enough to eat
who am I to be blind, pretending not to see their needs?
a summer's disregard, a broken bottle top, and one man's soul
they follow each other on the wind, you know,
cause they got nowhere to go
that's why I want you to know
I'm talking 'bout the man in the mirror
I'm asking him to change his ways
and no message could have been any clearer
if you wanna make the world a better place
take a look at yourself and make a change

So yeah, that's a Michael Jackson classic, Man in the Mirror. Maybe the music fast is helping me remember all the appropriate songs. I haven't broke it yet, and I have two days left.

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Ah, and the wings journal has begun. Link at the bottom. I may be giving more time to this one for a little while.

1:40 a.m. 2003-12-06�