Oh, of all the great inventions...I've discovered the glory and wonder of the xerox portrait. Here:

Probly my favorite pictures of me ever. Now I want to take xerox portraits of everybody.

---

Here, I wrote a letter to J, you can read it because it's interesting. I don't feel like providing any context, so deal with that.

Hey. No, no, I'm not, don't you worry. That's long over. Actually, I was just thinking recently that it was about time to give you a what-up.

So MY take on it, darling, is that girls don't necessarily look away because they're taught to be submissive--people look away because they're insecure. If there is an unofficially established protocol in Norway, then insecurity is less likely to manifest in that way, but I know plenty of boys who also can't force themselves to look at a cute girl. Cultural teachings? Not really. It's embarassing when you can't control your attraction, whether or not you're single or they're single; and insecurity compounds that by making you totally unsure of whether or not they would even return it. If a person doesn't want to play the fool, they try not to reveal too much. It would make you vulnerable. Eye contact is a measure of courage and confidence, not dominance. But that's my emic, American perspective.

So, when you asked me to visualize a bride, I visualized a bride. And she was looking into my eyes. So was my husband. Dominance or submissiveness aside, in my book, love calls for attention.

So, what am I up to? How've I been? Well, summer was good, and for the most part, relaxed. I didn't attend class or do anything funky-cool. I went to Philadelphia with my family to help my sister move in for grad school. Oo! I harvested apples at someone's communal farm! That was fantastic! We (Alex, HK, and some Greggle friends) spent a weekend up there. Hard, sunny labor--and good folks, food, and sleeping under the stars.

I'm attending Mills College now, in oakland. Small women's liberal arts thingy. It's AWESOME. I totally dig it. Everything's really personal here, and it's really easy to make connections. I really like my professors. This Biopsychology thing ain't gonna be too bad. What's weird is my Chemistry class. It's probably the most challenging of all of them, and so it's the one I'm enjoying the most. It demands things of me. It demands that I keep up, be rigorous, and take care of my shit. I like that. I don't think I'm especially talented at science, but I like it because it's challenging and precise. It's something I am not automatically good at, but I am being good at it, and that's exciting.

In addition, I'm taking a class in US Contemporary Women Artists, which keeps me inspired in the left-brain. (Left, correct? I oughtta know.) It's a very soft class, it's really fun.

Let's see... I actually just started writing a little, again. I write in fits and starts, which I know isn't good in terms of being a professional, but freak, man, I really enjoy it. Whatever.

OOoooo! I just sort of started an internship at Epic Arts! Dunno if I told you about it, it's an artspace/venue that does a lot of community-building projects. They recently established an official Ashby Arts District, and they've got partnerships with non-profit orgs all over the bay area. What excites me is we're doing this thing called the Catalyst Project. It's a database, sort of, or rather a network of registered artists, organizers, venues, and performers; the idea is that this sort of resource will make it exponentially easier to create something wonderful of your own. It sounds simple, but there's really nothing like it yet. The key to me is that it's linking artists from different disciplines, as well as technicians, organizers, promoters--the people who can put it all out in public. This is something I would have had to create myself for the Logos Project I told you about. (a chain of inspiration: writer-->painter-->music-->film-->dance-->etc. infinitely... showcases and publications) Epic Arts is on that track, man! I shyly mentioned the Logos Project as a reason why the Catalyst Project was so interesting to me, and Ashley (the director) was into it, he was like, "Oh yeah, that sounds great! You know, if there's anything you want to produce in this space, let us know, that's what we're here for. That's one of the perks of being an intern." OMG. love it. And Epic Arts is small. I like that. I am working with the directors, they're hearing my ideas and training me to take care of things. And they're so personable, you know, young at heart (not that they're all that old), they get excited about things. Ashley is telling me to come to the board meetings if I like, he wants me to learn whatever I want to learn. That's important to me, I hate feeling like I'm working in a position without innovation or responsibility. That was the ultimate downside of working at the Crucible, I kind of became a glorified secretary. At Epic Arts, they're already asking me to house manage events.

And there we go! On top of being an exciting and active organization, they are a venue, a gallery, and a teahouse! Acoustic music, edgy theater and cabaret, writing and meditation classes, food and drink. And the entire focus is on being a force for fun and good, and uniting and uplifting the neighborhood and community. Yeeeee-haw!

I am currently wearing a cowboy hat. That might explain some things. It looks great on me.

Let's see, what else. I don't know if you ever knew the Greggles. Greg went to HS with Alex, along with this guy Andy... anyway, they're our poker crowd now. The Y's have sort of dissipated--they don't live in that apt. anymore, so we see them off and on. But the Greggles--I refer to them as such--they are a large group of Greg-affiliated people who are fun and good at poker and mostly boys. Dude, is that my crowd or what? That's my crowd. Those are my boys.

I go to school with a bunch of girls, I hang out with a bunch of boys. My life is all right.

Currently, I have decided to shun love. Love don't love me and it's mutual. I've made a couple of half-hearted tries with a couple different people, but they just didn't pan out and I'm not feeling like it's worth the effort.

I just finished a lovely book on beekeeping. I'm lovin' the bees. I'd keep a few hives if I had the time, but for now I'm content to watch them buzz happily around me on the grass at Mills.

I'm feeeeeeeling good. As a general note. Happy to be here, Bob. Jo-Bob. Hope yer all good.

8:35 p.m. 2004-09-10�