I just spent the last hour and a half playing SoulCalibur II at Christianna's house. Lord but it was good. I LOVE that game; it's video games like that that make me glad I don't have a playstation at home. So addictive. We were laughing like madwomen, trying out new moves and striking poses.

Christianna is the friend I asked for, the girlfriend that is totally a part of my culture and so will try all sorts of new/weird things with me because her mind also goes in that direction. A person who can share my esoteric interests, such that we inspire each other. I've been wanting a girlfriend like that. Katharine shares my single life with me, the life of cute boys and their wingmen; we all know how that fits in. Christianna, on the other hand, is someone to whom I can say, "Dude, I heard about this show/class/event/club." And she'll say, "Yeah, I heard about that too!! I totally want to go! and then we should do This afterwards!" "Yeah!" "Yeah!"

YEAH!

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Discipline, I've found, is a matter of being able to keep yourself from rushing into bliss.

I was in a clear state of mind driving home today, and I found myself getting euphoric. You know how that goes. Bliss is good. Bliss is great. But it only lingers with you so long once you're back in a normal state of mind, and then you've gleaned nothing from your clarity except a temporary (if genuine) happiness.

Stress on temporary. It's a good thing to be happy. I'm all for it. But I would rather have a happiness that lasts, even if it takes me longer to attain it.

So it is good to use those moments of clarity to problem-solve in ways that normally elude you. To find insights you can take back with you and that will serve you well once the clarity is gone. As opposed to randomly tasting sweet bliss and never learning how the fuck to get there.

So I tried that this time. And you know what insight I brought back with me?

This one.

11:49 p.m. 2004-02-11�