Yeah, so I slept twelve hours of forever last night, as planned. This is apparently my favorite Sunday ritual. Getting more-than-sufficient sleep to make up for my abysmal Friday nights. (I have class Sat morning, but rarely can I resist the go-out or the up-late. Like, even if I don't go out, which I didn't this Friday, I'll stay up late doing stuff, such as start rearranging my living room at midnight. Which I did this Friday.

I had a Lot of vivid dreams last night. Couple of them are too bizarre for me to puzzle out or write anything coherent about, but there was one really vivid moment, not so much a dream, when I heard Alex's voice say, "Guess who's leaving in less than a week without saying goodbye? Johannes!" And I woke myself up by shouting, "WHAT!?!" That was truly weird. It was as though I heard him say it over the phone.

Another weird thing about K. (the 'other' guy) last night... So A. is his best friend, who is also my roommate Colin's best friend. A. and Colin's parents are like the ringleaders of this big interfamilial clan. So while we're hanging out, Ellie, A.'s girlfriend, tells me about this dream she had in which K. is having an affair with Colin's mom, Mattie. This creeps me out because in the past, I've thought that when I grow older, I'm going to be exactly like Mattie. In terms of assessing my tendencies, probabilities, and physicalities. And I look forward to being like Mattie. I think she's great.
So with that premise, and with the premise of me being helplessly attracted to K, but being currently wedded to J (Mattie's husband's name is Jim, by the way), that creeped me out. Our vibes and probabilities be floating as visions and premonitions on the psychic ether, knowhatImean man?

*Oh yeah, so the asterisk from the last entry, about the I-am-making-you-fall-in-love-with-me kind of flirting. I don't mean that as big-headedness or false confidence. It's just what happens when you Know someone is attracted to you and you are attracted to them and you vibe on that. It has nothing to do with what you say or even sometimes how you say it. It has to do with feeling the connection, subtle body language, well-timed looks. And what's more important about this is that it's unfakeable. It is the most natural thing in the world and it cannot be imitated. I'm very sensitive to recognize it, not just with myself, but between other people. For the sake of brevity I'll call it sense-flirting.

The other day Alex and I were talking about how he hooks up with girls, and in the course he said, "See, you have that whole hook-line-and-sinker thing, where you walk into a room and say 'That guy' and two days later he's in love with you. I can't do that." He's no more or less attractive than I am. He could do it if he had a little more faith in himself. It's not like I've got superpowers; it's just that if I can tell he's attracted to me, and I'm attracted to him, and the circumstances are open, then having something happen is like letting the river flow. It's like pointing to an empty seat and saying 'That chair' and going over and sitting down. And Alex goes, "Whoah, that's so cool, you just found a chair and sat down! How do you do that?"

But to be fair, I've been through all kinds of misguided circumstances with relationships, and this sense of what's right and natural is the product of all sorts of trial and error. So whatever. Yeah, I've got mad game.

5:13 p.m. 2003-10-26�