Apparently, out of all the options offered in college, there are only a handful that are 'practical'. Let's see here, they are:

• business
• computers
• pre-law (poli sci, that sort of thing)
• and pre-med.

Anything else--I swear, anything else--and you are bound to get the question, "So what are you going to do with that?" And see, when I was a creative writing major, I expected that. "Is that useful?" Even though it has a pretty pointed focus. What do you mean what am I going to do with that? I'm going to write creatively, what does it sound like? Pshaw.

But now I'm a cognitive science major, hello, and people are still like, "What are you going to do with that?" Aackh! Anything I frickin' want, okay people? Use your imagination, for god's sake! Sure, I could do research. I could do Human Resources for a company (though I'd sooner join the circus). I could become a hypnotist. I could use my powers for awesome. Whatever the fuck I want, capice?
Just about everybody I know gets this question, no matter what they do. Classics. What are you going to do with that? Geography. What are you going to do with that? Psychology. What, are you going to be a psychologist? Math. Do you have any ambition beyond, uh, math? (- this being an actual question.) Chemistry. Physics. Philosophy. Ha, ha. Art History. Theatre. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH THAT?*

I don't know why that's such an annoying question. But it is! It's like when you have a girl/boyfriend who asks, Where are we going with this? What do you mean, where are we going with this? I don't fricking know! Wherever we want! Do you care? What do you want me to say? (I've never been asked that and I never intend to ask that.)

Maybe my new answer to that question is, "Create a better world." That's the only reason why anybody does anything, right? Because they think it will make the world function better than, or at least as good as, it ever has.

Or maybe my new answer to that question is, "Put your mom in jail." Yeah, that's right. And maybe your whole family, too. See? I'm focused!

*Perhaps a better way to say this question would be, "Do you have a plan for that, or are you just playing it by ear?" What's different is that this question implies that it's okay if you're not exactly sure about your future. Playing it by ear is a long-respected tradition, and it's fine if that's what you're doing. We don't have to know what we're doing to do something great.

11:23 a.m. 2003-10-10�