I guess I haven't been around for a while. My busy busy life of social engagements and poker has been keeping me away from the computer for almost decent lengths of time.

No, I've been making use of my time. For example, I rapidly consumed and digested the body of work that is MegaTokyo, as well as a small but (thrillingly!) densely-packed book on sacred geometry (by Miranda Lundy; I recommend it as an intriguing starter). I've begun earnest work re-reading the pieces of Godel, Escher, Bach that I've forgotten; as well as making my house look good, which of course I've been doing all summer. I feel like I'm humming with activity, when I'm really not doing anything at all. Today was the epitome of that.

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A couple days ago I woke up from a dream that involved a hallucinatory Brad Pitt and the swinging of a voodoo doll that put me in an alternate universe. The sentiment I took back with me was this, I woke up and wrote it down:

You are only able to remember other worlds when you are mature enough not to mess accordingly with this one.

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So my sister's back in town for the duration before we head for Philadelphia, and we're doing some hardcore hangin out. Tomorrow, I'll acquire a claim to fame by having dinner at Chez Panisse. For those of you in touch with chef celebrity, that's Alice Waters' product-of-genius/homebase. That's right. Alice Waters. Mm-hm. Oh yeah.

Hey you should see Dodgeball! If you're in the mood for a lot of stoopid laughs. No, I mean it. You should. It rivals... gee, what does it rival? Oh well. It rivals.

All of a sudden it's 4am and I decided to have a second glass of wine! Entschuldigung.

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So Ohhhh, I didn't tell you. Yeah, okay--lately I've been having to make all these crappy decisions that hurt other people. Well, two big ones in the past four months, But that's probably more than the rest of my life combined! I don't know. Me booting my roommate C was the first, and now...

I'm not going to go to Greece. Wait--did I even tell you I WAS going? Jesus, you're behind the times!

So long long ago, I made plans with my sister to go to Greece this summer. Her boyfriend was going to compete in the Olympics, so she figures, this is as good a time as any to attend. We also vacationed in Greece two years ago, so going to Athens would be something to look forward to. So okay, we plan our trip for the second half of August. I assumed, dumbly, that school would start at the end of September and I'd have plenty of time after I got back.

But it turned out that I'd be missing almost the first two weeks of school, my entire orientation, and all the normal check-in and registration times. I had like, millions of people to contact to work around all of this, and besides, I was bummed to miss it all. I consider myself a shy person (even though I magically meet people and make friends everywhere I go), and things like a traditional orientation are great excuses for me to meet other people. I'm a social dog, I like making connections, what can I say.

Basically, I didn't want to be behind when I started my first semester at a new school, especially since I'm so excited about Mills.

It was a big decision to make. Many tickets had already been bought, and arrangements made. People told. Even though I knew what I ought to do, I couldn't make that choice. My sister was really looking forward to traveling with me again, and I specifically would be her companion for nights of fun. And of course, I love the country of Greece and want to return. But every time I thought about the FUN we'd be having, a significant part of me kept saying that it was frivolous, that I'd be deliberately missing out on things I should, could, and ought to be doing, all for the sake of an expensive hassle. Isn't that terrible? It's a goddamn vacation to Greece to attend the Olympics! Something like that should never be a burden. I shouldn't resent an awesome vacation for taking me away from my obligations. Better not to take the vacation at all. It is just the wrong time for it. :(

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"Geometry is 'number in space', music is 'number in time'."

3:51 a.m. 2004-07-21�