Aaaachhk. I'm writing my college applications essay to UC Berkeley; and I'm constantly vaccillating between the desire to impress them and the desire to speak to them as though they were my friend, just show them who I am, and let them take me or leave me.

Those bastards. I'm sufficiently aware of my abilities that I know I don't need them to be the powerhouse mind-force that I am, but any time I'm presented with this idea that they are this almighty institution of learning and I am just a lowly student, I start puppying up to them as though they've got the only food left in the world.

And then in retaliation, I get cocky. I have this urge to tell them that I'm fucking amazing and am going to do amazing things, and if they want my name to be a credit to their institution, they better bow down to my noble ass because I haven't decided whether I want their services or not.

But then, I wonder how many of those essays they get.

I think the best way is to just tell them about things as though we were estranged friends catching up on old times. This is how things are with me; this is what I'm up to; I'm interested in these things these days and this is what I've got under way. We already know that we love each other and are a credit to each other's being. I accept you. You accept me.

Hey look, I'm accepted!

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My stomach is also writhing around a mass of chocolate-covered gummi bears.

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So my favorite new metaphor for action is "10 cents now or 25 cents later." It has its origins in low-stakes Push-It (a kind of poker--some people love it, some people hate it. It's an expensive game.) I don't want to explain the entire game, but it's basically saying, If you're not willing to pay 10 cents to get rid of a card you don't like now, you'll have to pay 25 cents* to get rid of it later (if you stay in and it cripples your hand).

It applies to so many things. Like, anytime you bear with something you don't like because you're unwilling to take the effort to change things. The longer you stick with it, the more you'll have to pay to get rid of it. It relates to the phrase "The lazy man works twice." I.e., washing dishes. It's easier if you wash them right after you eat, but then you (I) get lazy and leave them for later, and then they get crusty and you have to scrub them extra hard when you finally get to them. Uh. Great. Now you have a picture of the state of my sink.

10 cents now or 25 cents later. Keep that in mind, folks.

* This is on a chip scale of 5-10-25. Like I said, low stakes. How do you think students can afford twice a week?

11:40 p.m. 2003-11-25�