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My boyfriend--my tall, thin, skinny-as-a-something boyfriend--is going to be Hagrid for a family friend's kid's birthday party.

Oh my god. That is one of the most endearing things I have ever heard. I bust out laughing and said, What, are you going to wear like, TEN layers of clothing?

And oh dog, you guys... My libido is a creature that's out of control. But at least it's predictable.

So the story behind J, the boyfriend, is that he's an old good friend of a good friend of mine, and we've had sporadic contact over the past couple years, I always thought he was cute but he was never living nearby, and during this spate when he's in the area for a while, we've found each other and are having a great time. He comes with the highest recommendations, he lives up to those recommendations, and he's a great dancer besides.

There is one other person who fits that description.

He came to the party tonight when it was much later, with the rest of the friends with whom he is associated (he is one of the oldest friends of A., my roommate Colin's best friend). And every time we have been in each other's vicinity, there is this really strong attraction. The last time we saw each other, his girlfriend at the time picked up on it and blew soap bubbles in his eye. But the point was, however attracted we were, we never acted on it, because he wasn't around and what would be the point?

Well guess what? He's around. He's living in Berkeley and he works at Blake's. Like I said, he arrived late, and J had left earlier, so he wasn't around to witness it, and it's a good thing too. I tried to be good, I tried to be so good, but I couldn't help but flirt. I mean really flirt, the I-am-making-you-fall-in-love-with-me kind of flirt.* We weren't touching each other, and there was no innuendo, but anyone paying attention to the two of us would have noticed something going on. And as we were saying goodbye, there was this funny scene. We were all standing around in goodbye mode; I'd hugged everyone else before him. I was trying to be so good. We gave each other a chaste hug goodbye, said a few words, and somehow, I don't even know how, we got on the subject of how public transportation is like to my house. Everyone's having their own little goodbye conversations; we're right there with them; and we're talking between the two of us in rapid subtones about how one would get to my house using public transportation. Is there anything so Shady? What completes the scene is that when someone else started talking to one of us, we dropped it. Just broke eye contact, broke subtones, went with the change of subject.

In the continuation of leaving, he said something like, 'Now that I'm around I should come by here more often', and as they were filing out the door, there was this frantic-tinged time-stop, where he paused, and I paused, and he patted his pockets, and I thought this: {he's looking for a pen and paper find a pen and paper, I can't ask for your number, maybe I can ask for his email, I can't do that, Ask me for my number Ask me for my email, God No please don't do that, I have no way of contacting you, You don't have my contact, we'll see each other again soon enough.} His head snaps up and he smiles nervously and says, just checking to see if I have everything. I smile and go 'Yeah' as though I just dodged a bullet.

And I did, okay, I did. That last moment was a temptation something fierce. Again, it was a damn good thing J was not there, because if he were, he could not have stood it. If what he picked up from Noah disturbed him mildly, this would have made him leave the room. I couldn't help it--no really, every word I said was making this guy fall in love with me, and I knew it. And I just could not think of a different way to speak to him.

Again, I am falling asleep in my chair. Adieu. I'll explain that asterisk tomorrow.

3:02 a.m. 2003-10-26�

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