Hi. So you shall be treated to a healthy dose of P. Hale, IM Advice Columnist. Healthy I say. (In condensed soup format.)
Hopefully it looks a little better now. Still not the most palatable to the eye, but at least there's no horrid side-scroll.
Gnatlim: Delphi! DelphiHale: hold on DelphiHale: whoah man I was in the middle of a midboss battle. ff5 of course. how you been? Gnatlim: I have been good! been very very busy! I would like to come over for dinner one night DelphiHale: yeah? Gnatlim: and cook with you! DelphiHale: good!!! Gnatlim: it has been a long time, sides I miss ya! DelphiHale: when are you going to be around? Gnatlim: I have a soil sceince field trip soon DelphiHale: oh neat Gnatlim: I'll make sure to come down DelphiHale: soil science sounds really interesting. is it? Gnatlim: dude, it is so much fun! yeah I really like it! alot of jargon, and some chemistry know how; but it ain't too bad! DelphiHale: cool! so are you doing the viticulture major? Gnatlim: no DelphiHale: awwww DelphiHale: agriculture? Gnatlim: it is too much of a niche to be stuck in. similar, but something a little more helpful and broader DelphiHale: earth sciences? Gnatlim: Environmental Horticulture, with an emphasizes in in Plant Biodiversity and Restoration DelphiHale: oooooh! that does sound nice. sounds like it suits you just fine. dang hippy Gnatlim: sorry it is Environmental Horticulture and Urban Forestry with an emphasize in plant biodiversity/ restoration, and specilaization in wetlands and coastal ecology DelphiHale: WHOAH!! inTENSE! you're really planning on sticking around the bay area, aren't you? Gnatlim: LOL well close to it! I hope to work at Bodega Bay Labs or Berekeley Labs or Golden Gate State Reserve DelphiHale: oh pretty. nat, it sounds like you're really choosing something suited for you. I'm really happy for you Gnatlim: yes it does! finally LOL DelphiHale: what do you want to focus in, career-wise? do you know? sounds like you want to do research Gnatlim: and the nice thing about this major is that it allows me to work in the viticulture field, research, lab work, nursery, floriculture, or energy resource sciences DelphiHale: sigh Gnatlim: hmmm either the research where the folks get to go backpacking out in the wild and find new stuyff or figure out how to restore stuff LOL. why the sigh? DelphiHale: it was a 'i'm so happy for you' sigh. i'm all envisioning an awesome future for you Gnatlim: heehee! Thanks that is really cool of you! DelphiHale: well, man, I can't help it, I just feel the love, you know? Gnatlim: hey I am a man beaming with love all da time!!! DelphiHale: no doubt about that. hey, I think you'll like the new boy! Gnatlim: the new boy? heehee who is he? DelphiHale: You know, I gave up the whole dating scene, and then I found one I really liked! Gnatlim: yay!!!! who who? DelphiHale: we've actually known of each other for a couple years now, an old friend of alex and colin's Gnatlim: ok DelphiHale: his name is J maybe you met him maybe not Gnatlim: he the one who plays an instrument? a brass? DelphiHale: LOL no, that was ben. so out of the scene Gnatlim: yes yes I remember now DelphiHale: no, j is a friend from high school Gnatlim: but no I have not met J DelphiHale: oh cool i'm sure you will Gnatlim: our high school??? DelphiHale: no no no, from A and Cs high school times. if you come to MM6 you'll meet him for sure. he's hard to describe Gnatlim: ok! well give it your best shot! I'll hang DelphiHale: okay, except that he's hot (tall and skinny), incredibly funny, very considerate, very religious (more on that later), Gnatlim: ok DelphiHale: loves comics and animated films Gnatlim: yay! always a plus! DelphiHale: was a philosophy and theatre major, wants to be a writer Gnatlim: nice a writer with aspirations! DelphiHale: , Norwegian, Gnatlim: yes hot guy. is he blonde? DelphiHale: nope Gnatlim: I see ok DelphiHale: actually doesn't look norwegian but can speak it and loves the country Gnatlim: nice! DelphiHale: he's kinda brown all over DelphiHale: he really likes his parents (major plus) Gnatlim: that is a definite plus! Gnatlim: that sounds awesome! DelphiHale: oh but here's a downer: DelphiHale: as soon as he saves up to a few thou, he's heading out to Norway for a few years Gnatlim: oh! I see DelphiHale: that could be as soon as Thanksgiving or past Xmas Gnatlim: I understand. oh wow. that is wow... soon DelphiHale: yeah, so we've got each other for now. when he goes, he goes. we've been pretty fast-paced with the relationship, we're milking our time for all it's worth. goods and bads go with that Gnatlim: get your times worth indeed! yes true, like any relationship.... sigh [I knew there was something wrong here] DelphiHale: sigh? Gnatlim: but anywas, good for you! I am happy for you!!! and who knows? you might go out to Norway in a few years to catch up with him! DelphiHale: LOL who knows. DelphiHale: hey boyo I gotta go though. Gnatlim: really! I got more to tell you! I hardly get to talk to you! [here I knew something was wrong for sure, that's the only time he holds on] DelphiHale: ok ok ok a little more Gnatlim: yay! DelphiHale: tell me tell me Gnatlim: so I might get a job working at a green house. I have been taking Viticulture classes on how to grow grapes and make wine. I learned how to catch a sheep, a horse, groom a horse, sit a sheep, and Wednesday I get to learn how to milk a goat! DelphiHale: you're amazing! this is so cool! Gnatlim: yup yup! hmmm I have been playing Sunday night soccer games with old high school mates DelphiHale: you know, you're doing what so few people these days have--a first-hand personal relationship with the earth! Gnatlim: and rock climbing and weight lifting quite a bit DelphiHale: neat, bulking up eh Gnatlim: trying to bulk up DelphiHale: lol Gnatlim: I applied for Financial Aid today. lets see... Lindsey is doing well. [here we get to the meat of it] I will ask her is she would like to come to the MM6 DelphiHale: absolutely. it will be quite the shindig Gnatlim: it will be. hmm Lindsey needs good friends, and you guys are the best guys to be friends with DelphiHale: she have bad ones or not enough? hey thanks Gnatlim: not enough DelphiHale: mmm Gnatlim: and not so great. she has a few good friends, but that is about it DelphiHale: but, well, she has you, and that counts for a lot Gnatlim: well true Gnatlim: ... DelphiHale: a Lot Gnatlim: I hope so. but yes DelphiHale: because if I had to choose people who were good influences, you would be up there on the list Gnatlim: she definitley needs new friends like girlfriends DelphiHale: cool Gnatlim: YAY!!! thank you so much!!!! DelphiHale: hey I have a new girlfriend myself. very happy about that Gnatlim: really ! DelphiHale: girl buddy Gnatlim: yay! i know DelphiHale: met her in PreCalc, just hit it off right off the bat. she's very cool, from NY originally, taking a yr off college, name's Katharine Gnatlim: awesome! DelphiHale: Alex has a crush on her (I saw that comin') Gnatlim: that is a beautiful name! LOL! ok! DelphiHale: yeah, she's a great girl, really easy to confide in Gnatlim: I believe it! easy going eh?! DelphiHale: oh totally. and very understanding Gnatlim: i have been making some cool girl buddies too! in my hus! DelphiHale: oh good! Gnatlim: yes come up! it is so much fun up here! DelphiHale: so you have some nice housemates then, eh? Gnatlim: yes I do! DelphiHale: I'd like to! Gnatlim: lotsa fun and it is really cool! do come up indeed! DelphiHale: maybe next Mon or Wed? Gnatlim: yes that could work indeed. you know Lindsey is a pretty awesome girl. I'm pretty lucky [I hear something coming] DelphiHale: yeah? tell me about it Gnatlim: we have such a excellent connection in communication, I mean we can talk about anything and for some strange reason I can;t get mad at her. maybe slightly upset, but no yelling, or screamning or finger pointing, and she reacts in a similar way. she is such a loving girlfriend, and we share many same ideals and values, but everyone has their discrepencies. and she is dedicated in getting things done, with a little push from this boy. Gnatlim: however Lisa... we hit a hiccup sometime last week and I am in need of a bit of some sage advice from you my dear DelphiHale: ok Gnatlim: for a long time she has been talking about other guys, since we first started dating. and last week we boiled down to what she likes and not like, and she said some things which really hurt me. apparently, I hate to categorize it, but some of the things she said, are kinda, very superficial, or stereotypical So Cal [SoCal is something of a slur up here in the SF area] statements, and she said somethings which left the relationship shaking a bit. most of it has been resolved, but I am slightly worried though Gnatlim: Gnatlim: LOL DelphiHale: what was it that put you on shaky ground? Gnatlim: well she tells me what she thinks it hot in a guy, and she is really focusing on the physical aspects more so than what counts inside DelphiHale: I think I see... Gnatlim: but she loves the communication,the level of connectedness we have....but she wants the total package which I can understand DelphiHale: and is it on shaky ground because what she wants is different from what she has, or because you don't like her focus? DelphiHale: ah, a little of both, ok Gnatlim: she basically wants a really hot guy, with big bulging muscles, blonde hair and green or blues eyes, and I feel so inferior, that I can not provide in that department DelphiHale: Nat, you're really a very attractive guy� she's just going for something that is different � something within her cultural norm [and he really is, he's skinny, shorter, and asian, but he's ripped, and he's got the face of bruce lee with glasses] Gnatlim: she is fromn So Cal. yes that is the cultural norm DelphiHale: that's no excuse. and you know what, I don't think it's a good thing that she's bringing this up to you when it's something you can do nothing about Gnatlim: she's been doing it for a while DelphiHale: yeah, I know. And you know what I think? Gnatlim: yes? DelphiHale: I think she has had those guys before, and none of them were any good to her [this based on previous info], and you are treating her like a girl should be treated.... but if she can't get over her physical types, then she can't get over it. and she recognizes that you are a great boyfriend, and that she shouldnt' be dumping you for those reasons Gnatlim: yes...I have even suggested we break up if she wanted to pursue her dream guy, and she immediatly said no DelphiHale: frankly... very, very frankly... I think both of you are afraid Gnatlim: yes this is true. but as in terms of how? DelphiHale: she's afraid she would not find one of those boys who would treat her as well as you do, and you are afraid you will not find a girl as pretty and who gets along as well. that's a basic enough fear Gnatlim: perhaps, but I never went for her b/c of her looks DelphiHale: but it does stem from insecurity, a question of do I really deserve the best? DelphiHale: I know Gnatlim: this is true DelphiHale: but the other things as well Gnatlim: yes... Gnatlim: but...she has been contradicting as well DelphiHale: and I think you deserve a girl who likes you for your outside as well as your inside Gnatlim: yes I know... DelphiHale: and trust me, they are out there Gnatlim: heehee. I know. she is just an awesome girl, loves being outside, and the connectedness with nature, and understanding and willing to work and communicate well, which is rare in a girl. and we have many similar interests whihc is a plus. but, yanking my heart around to something I cannot be...I am getting tired of it. slowly DelphiHale: nat you should not let yourself wither. don't let this damage you more than it has Gnatlim: heehee, it takes alot more than that to wither me DelphiHale: i'm not saying it's a bad relationship Gnatlim: slow me down yes, wither no. no it isn't DelphiHale: oh i know, but these are consistent blows to your self-confidence Gnatlim: it is DelphiHale: and she must know what she is doing. i'm not saying she's out to hurt you Gnatlim: she tells me looks arean't a big deal to her, then she blows off about how her other guys friends are buff, and blonde, or hot, and what attracts her to them. now she is talkng about a new guy she has met in Philosophy class, she really is smitten with, which sparked the whole deal, DelphiHale: she is obviously trying to be sensitive and non-superficial, but in doing so just denying the tendencies that she actually has. denial is not overcoming an issue Gnatlim: I have no problem with her making friends, or doing her thing DelphiHale: of course Gnatlim: just that she told me flat out, that she finds this guy attractive and might fall in love with him or have a crush with this guy... and she has done this to me numeorus of times DelphiHale: jesus christ... nat... DelphiHale: NO CONSIDERATE PARTNER DOES THIS Gnatlim: she has been doing this since the beginning DelphiHale: you deal with it on the inside or you break up Gnatlim: and she is so fortunate I don;t blow up at her or yell at her DelphiHale: I know, and however awesome a girl she is otherwise, this ought to be a deal-breaker Gnatlim: and I accept the fact there are hotter folks out there DelphiHale: I'm serious DelphiHale: NO, dude, that isn't right. There's a quote, and I take it quite seriously, Gnatlim: but she says she doesn't want to lose us or fuck the relationship up DelphiHale: that if you don't find your partner to be the most beautiful person in the entire world (for all the things that makes a person beautiful), then there is something wrong with you Gnatlim: and that she knows she has something that every other person is envious (her roomates tell her my friends tell her, her friends tell her) yet...she wants something else, and the what we have now at the same time. I even suggested that we break up let her figure things out, or let her do what she wants, and she says no. I don;t know what to do Lisa DelphiHale: you guys should really break up. like really really. she needs to get over her fear of being alone Gnatlim: yes... DelphiHale: and once she gets over that, she will know what she really wants. and if it's you, fine. and if it's not, fine. it'll be tough either way, but it has to happen Gnatlim: seriosuly. now, so far things have been very close and good, except for the incident last week DelphiHale: because this problem will not just go away, because it hasn't over a long period of time DelphiHale: but you can't just keep overlooking incidents, because they will keep coming Gnatlim: no, it has been happening less fequently though Gnatlim: yes true Gnatlim: maybe she is just too young and inexperienced. this is her longest relationship she has eer had as of yet, and she wants to see how far we can go with this.... DelphiHale: it's possible DelphiHale: your relationship is not a marathon for her to prove that she can do it Gnatlim: I have thought about breaking up with her, and she won;t let it break up, not yet DelphiHale: you know, that is a sign Gnatlim: but I have reasoned with her, that if she does fall in love with Sam or some ones else, and I am still in, I get hurt DelphiHale: when one half wants to break up, the other half must be able to let go, or else it means that they are codependent Gnatlim: yes, this is true DelphiHale: like, it may hurt, but the other half must be able to let go, be willing to hurt themselves to let something better happen for the both of you. that's real love, you know? Gnatlim: yes, how do i do that? if she does not want to. without hurting her too much DelphiHale: if she couldn't do it before, you have to tell her that to her face, or she will not realize what you are asking her to do Gnatlim: she keeps saying that there is too much too lose DelphiHale: no there is never a loss. because after time, when she heals, if she still wants you and you still want her then it was truly, truly meant to be. but if you keep walking on a lame leg it will never heal--you have to let it rest and then you can run and jump all you want Gnatlim: yes this is very true DelphiHale: but a break has to be clean Gnatlim: yes, how so? DelphiHale: you can't say, well, maybe later... you have to say this is the end. and once they deal with the end then they realize the true value of things Gnatlim: I see DelphiHale: they are forced to assess everything that matters in a way that's final Gnatlim: ahh I see DelphiHale: and then, only THEN, if you are still what she wants, if that is what still matters... you know Gnatlim: yes this is true DelphiHale: but it has to be final Gnatlim: ok DelphiHale: for you too Gnatlim: hmmm DelphiHale: you would have to let her go Gnatlim: I think I have been there, LOL DelphiHale: it can't be a trick. lol, okay I know what you mean Gnatlim: I am fine of lettting her go now, b/c I love her and I want her to to grow and appreciate things DelphiHale: You can't let her hold you back from growing. If it is time, then it is for the best. Gnatlim: perhaps she will be happier being with a guy from her social norm. i mean cultural norm DelphiHale: that may be Gnatlim: ....sigh....yet she keeps complaining about the bad experiences, etc DelphiHale: letting that fear drive her is a big problem DelphiHale: if she hasn't learned from those bad experiences, she is destined to repeat them until she does Gnatlim: LOL she needs someone to talk about this too. it almost sounds like you;re the person to talk to. yes, this is true DelphiHale: I'd be happy to, but I hope she wouldn't be afraid that I'm biased. I mean, of course i am, but I mean well for her too. really really. but if you wanted me to talk to her, i would Gnatlim: about her fears, and especially about the talking about other guys, and how what she says... I have no problem with looking, but acting upon it I have a problem with. she sometimes scares me like she and her best friend like to dress real sexy and flirt and tease with the guys back at home in San Luis Obispo. or tells me she might get drunk, and something stupid could happen. It's really fucking with me DelphiHale: Nat please, please please please, you have to break up with her. I don't want to command your life, but I have enough distance to see what is happening. it isn't healthy Gnatlim: no... DelphiHale: I think you both need to be alone for a while Gnatlim: just wish someone wil talk to her Gnatlim: yes I think so, too DelphiHale: if you want me to talk to her, I will Gnatlim: yes, perhaps that might be best DelphiHale: you can set it up so we can IM or give her my number and have her call me Gnatlim: ok I can do that DelphiHale: she can call me whenever, and if it's not a good time, we can reschedule Gnatlim: but...everything seems to be ok for now...but I have promised myself that next time a situation like last week occurs again, I wll definiltely do something about it DelphiHale: NAT. DelphiHale: not good. Gnatlim: I'm pretty sure it will be soon, LOL DelphiHale: why wait??? you are just going to absorb more of this. I know, there are good things too Gnatlim: b/c I am givin gher another chance, I know she felt really bad about what she said, she even told me and realized what she said last week was the wrong thing to do DelphiHale: but good things come from everywhere, you know? Gnatlim: this is true DelphiHale: I know, but hasn't she done this before? Gnatlim: twice before, but not as bad as last week DelphiHale: and I'm sure you guys have talked about it Gnatlim: once doing before the summer DelphiHale: I remember that one Gnatlim: once doing the summer, but that was not about guys so much DelphiHale: and I can't believe it's still an issue Gnatlim: and now. perhaps I am too forgiving, but I like to give girls a chance DelphiHale: you have, many times over Gnatlim: and I am giving her a third chance Gnatlim: and after that I make my decision DelphiHale: head DelphiHale: hit DelphiHale: keyboard Gnatlim: HAHAHAH Gnatlim: oh Delphi Gnatlim: I know, I am really an awful guy sometimes, heeehee. but Nat is NAt DelphiHale: LOLOLOL. you're just being awful to yourself. and youre not awful Gnatlim: I have actually been a good mood all week and over the weekend since the incident DelphiHale: you're human Gnatlim: I know. and human I can do only so much DelphiHale: I know, I know Gnatlim: sigh, she needs to see the world, and get some experience. and not the superficial experience. like send her to a poor country. LOL. that;s another thing too; she feels like she can;t relate to my experiences [he had a pretty rocky youth], b/c her own have been way too sheltered. or not as well DelphiHale: well, everyone has different pasts Gnatlim: coming from pretty much what one could say the perfect beach town life, nuclear families everywhere Gnatlim: well, anyways, on to more exciting news! I am planning a backpacking trip soon! DelphiHale: neato! Gnatlim: and want to know which weekends are good for you? and your friends. hoping to hit Pt.Reyes b4 the wet season DelphiHale: err, NOv 8 or 15. 8 is a full moon Gnatlim: that sounds awesome! moonlight hiking is a wonderful experience, i miss it so much DelphiHale: me too. I would love to go. I will go. we will make it work Gnatlim: ok Nov 8 it is I will go make reservations tommorow DelphiHale: it has been so long since I've been backpacking Gnatlim: me too. hold on let me write that on the calendar DelphiHale: a toast to Nov. 8 Gnatlim: hell eyah! Gnatlim: hey Lisa thanks so much for the advice DelphiHale: hey kid just listen to your voices Gnatlim: I will definitley do that the next time an incident occurs DelphiHale: the ones that help Gnatlim: I know. they do exept they tell me to stick with it, which sounds really wrong. even my brain says so, logic wise. oh well DelphiHale: go with your instincts. even if it is intellectually wrong, perhaps there is something you need to learn that you couldn't otherwise Gnatlim: what are ya gonna do with me? DelphiHale: they know better than I do Gnatlim: which is why I haven;t broken up with her. LOL. even though logically I want to DelphiHale: well, I'm gonna be here for you, that's what I'm gonna do Gnatlim: thanks!!! You so awesome!!!! DelphiHale: hey, do what you want. there isn't even any right or wrong to it. Gnatlim: Hey Lisa, thanks for being such an awesome a good friends to me DelphiHale: just be true to yourself, k? Gnatlim: I will my dear DelphiHale: god I sound like an after school special. quick, slap me for being cliche. I am no sage, dude Gnatlim: but, you are wise, and I can talk to you about these things, hey this foolish old man needs the helping to of good advice! but yes, what you have told me makes ample sense DelphiHale: and this foolish little girl will do her best Gnatlim: ok! DelphiHale: so give her my number and IM Gnatlim: I will soon Gnatlim: but I would like to see how things go from here on DelphiHale: I know it'll be weird, but I'm here for her too Gnatlim: if there is situation to arise then I will definitley let you know and try to quell the bomb before it explodes. I know, she needs to be free to learn�but not yet. she can still learn more from me. LOL DelphiHale: lol Gnatlim: or be spoiled like hell DelphiHale: oh yeah?? well you teach her big boy Gnatlim: and then realize what she has lost in the end. not a revenge thing DelphiHale: just a learning experience Gnatlim: just, to let her know she will be missing something out on something good she once had. yes a learning experience. b/c I can safely guaruntee, she is not not going to find a guy like me, treat her that well anytime soon. thought that sounds kinda bad, but I know it is true, b/c people tell me so. DelphiHale: whatever. whatever is fine. Gnatlim: heehee Gnatlim: I really needed to unload this. I am really sorry. i unloaded this on Vineta. apparently she does not like Lindsey very much of as now, after telling what happened. oh yes--Vineta has been a factor in our relationship as well DelphiHale: right Gnatlim: and I think that is why Linsey maybe holding on. LOL in fact it came up no too long ago, it pissed Lindsey off big time. but she not blow, she just voiced them in a professional and calm manner DelphiHale: well that is just a small taste of her own medicine. maybe it would be more even if you started telling her you might get drunk and fall in love with vineta Gnatlim: I have DelphiHale: uh... DelphiHale: kay... Gnatlim: and told her how she would feel if I was doing what she is doing to me Gnatlim: LOL, no i haven;t DelphiHale: lol Gnatlim: I would not do that DelphiHale: i know. i was weirded by the possibility Gnatlim: but yep, Lindsey feels highly and still highly threatened by her. and it doesn;t help wehn Vinnie tells me that she loves me in front of Linsey DelphiHale: sigh. what to be done? you and your girls. Gnatlim: LOL DelphiHale: maybe you could make them mud wrestle DelphiHale: and film it and make a fortune! Gnatlim: Hey! Great idea. you know me and my women, they just want a piece of the Nat Action DelphiHale: you are so right Gnatlim: I love the sarcasm LOL. hey tell me, I know I have been rattiling on an on about my woes. what has been up with you? how is chool going? and everything else? DelphiHale: uh, school is allright, if a little uninspiring at the moment. arts club, pub commish, all that kind of just plugging along right now. but I'm writing a new book of poetry Gnatlim: really! awesome!!! tell me more about it! DelphiHale: and continuing the painting on my closet doors DelphiHale: it really is great. there's this writing org in SF called 826 Valencia Gnatlim: that is right i remember the closet, you have something awesome coming along, I love that color gradient DelphiHale: they offer tutoring and writing workshops to underpriveleged kids DelphiHale: yeah I've done some detail sketches and I have the materials for what I'm doing next DelphiHale: and 826 has this store, the Pirate Store. they sell Pirate supplies (yup) and all the books of the 826 kids. and also McSweeney's stuff Gnatlim: nice! that sounds so awesome! DelphiHale: so I picked up a book of some of the kids' poetry and I am writing a book of poems in response to the ones they wrote. I've done about 13 so far. they're pretty good. I keep polishing as I write new ones Gnatlim: ohoohoho I would love to read some of your poetry! that is good DelphiHale: I'll email you some Gnatlim: that would be wonderful! DelphiHale: there are a couple I know you'd dig Gnatlim: nice! DelphiHale: yeah. So artistically I'm feeling great right now. super good Gnatlim: ok my dear it is 1am in the morning and the smoke alarm is going off like crazy b/c someone is burning inscence. heehee DelphiHale: lol. rock on then Gnatlim: well My dear friedn thank you so much! DelphiHale: you should get some rest Gnatlim: yes true true Gnatlim: tommorow is another good day! DelphiHale: kay boy Gnatlim: talk you in abit! Gnatlim: nitenite! DelphiHale: sleep well Gnatlim: i will and you too! Gnatlim: dream well! Gnatlim signed off at 1:02:07 AM.
Oh my god if any of you made it to the end of that I will mail you a special award. I am so serious.
1:04 a.m. 2003-10-14�
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