( s p a c e

t o

b r e a t h e )
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Today here is the most beautiful day. There's a filmy sheen of dusty sunlight over everything in sight, and sounds from the neighborhood are muted but well enunciated.

The day began with clouds, and it was cold, and it was heavy and looked like rain, but then; it wasn't like the clouds went away, it was as though they suddenly turned transparent. It's like we're underwater.

I resumed reading McSweeney's Quarterly 11. I read a story about a man who prefers making himself a stranger and a victim, rather than bearing the responsibilities of loving.

Next I will resume reading Godel, Escher, Bach, the book that got me excited about cognitive science in the first place. It's been a while since I left it in the middle.

Today has been a luxury in the best of ways. It's not that I don't have 'things to do'--one is never without things to do--it's that I have no appointments. Once class was over this morning, I was free for the day, and it has been a day of leisure.

I have my doctor to thank for that. I had an appointment scheduled for the afternoon, but I was woken fifteen minutes before my alarm this morning by her assistant, telling me that she had a family emergency. I rescheduled for Monday.

This would have been my first appointment with her, a new doctor. I have been looking for a good doctor since I got too old for the pediatric. I've been here and there, though nothing perfect, which I believe one's doctor should be no less than, if there is a choice. But she seems right, even before I've met her. Her practice is solid, her demeanor over the phone is professional but not superior, and she's been local--in my town--for the past thirty years. I really like that. I think a good family practitioner has roots. And truly, by canceling this appointment, she has done more good for me than she could have done in her office. And if there's a sign of a good doctor, it's good timing.

The sun is hot and bright but not scalding, in fact it's very smooth. I brought Tantra* outside today. I've been bringing her outside every day since I met J, if only for a few minutes. I understand. She's my baby. It's important. I love her, and she should know that she is loved. I think she is one of the most beautiful things on this earth. I think he is absolutely wonderful.

[refer to Nightmare Before Christmas: What's This?]

*my snake

5:26 p.m. 2003-09-26�

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