So there are a couple images I've had in my dreams that really disturb me, and that have lingered with me for a long time and I think I will never forget. The kind of thing that unsettles me severely if I chance to think of it.

I don't have nightmares. In all the times I can remember, there have been about three times I have ever woken up scared. Maybe less. I've been sad, I've felt terrible, but waking up gasping and afraid, almost never. But there are these images that give me this sense of horror about existence.

I'm not going to explain much about the rest of the dreams that they came from.

1. My boyfriend at the time, Avi, and I, are sitting on a bed. There are two other people in the room, threatening us. One of them leaves the room and brings back a beautiful little girl, about five, curly blond hair. She is standing near the bed we are on and I realize what is about to happen. She is going to be electrocuted and we can do nothing to save her. As it begins, Avi and I turn our heads, I bury mine in his back, but I can still hear her whimper, a slight crackle of electricity, I think I can hear her shaking. I'm trying to shut it out but I can still hear it. I can feel myself squeezing my eyes shut, clenching my fists. I hear it end. I open my eyes, and the little girl is naked, her skin pale and withered, eyes shut, all the hair singed from her body. She is limp and I can't tell if she's alive or dead. I am crying and angry. The man who brought her in picks her up and carries her back out of the room.

2. This one is more recent. A dog is being tormented by two men. The two men are standing around him, laughing, one of them is squirting piss from a bottle into the dog's face. The dog is a pit bull type. He's wearing a little dog shirt, the fur has been shaved off his head, and he's so scared he can't even run. He's in down-dog position, shaking, sitting in a pile of his own feces. I see a close-up of the dog's eyes, wide, trembling, and going insane.

1:23 p.m. 2003-09-26�