"Every day, it's-a gettin closer, goin faster than a roller coaster, love like yours surely comes my way, a-hey, a-hey-hey."

I thought I had a whole lot of cool stuff to write, but now I feel like I don't. What up with that?

No, but I do. Epic Arts; my dad; shadowrun; the parade; Aaron, I guess; ahhh, I don't know.

So yesterday was the big berkeley parade. I helped with the set-up and take-down, and afterwards, we chilled back at EArts. And it was so fun. What else can I say? Those people are chill, really chill. I have mini-crushes on everybody I work with there, because they're all attractive and they're all these open, motivated, creative types.

Actually, I've been working most closely with the director, Ash, and we're kind of attracted to each other. Maybe not completely--I'm not sure yet if I like how he smells. I haven't yet gotten a good whiff. But tonight, we were training me on this new database system we're using, and it was just him and me hanging out. And like, right in the middle of a sentence, there was this moment when we looked right into each other's eyes, and I could swear I heard him think: Gosh, you're pretty. At the very same time I thought, Are your eyes green? And then he continued talking.

Yeah, that's right. In my perfect world, everybody has a crush on me. That's all it takes.

I realized that I never actually notice eye color. I notice eye shape, I notice that I like looking into them or that they are for some reason excellent; but take Johannes, for example. I loved his eyes. They were beautiful. He was my favorite person to kiss because, well, I liked his kissing, his cheek was soft, and his eyes. But even after we broke up, I was writing about him, and I was like, wait--were his eyes grey? or blue? or brown, were they brown? I could not for the life of me remember how it was. I finally settled on grey, I think.

Anyhow, smell is one of the things that really knocks me flat about AaronB. I love his smell. I could inhale his scent aaaaaaall day. All Day Long. And I'm not talkin about cologne, folks; in fact, I abhor cologne because then I can't smell a person. He just smells fantastic. Perhaps in moments of indiscretion I have leaned in and half-closed my eyes as I stood next to him, just so I could focus. No, I'm sure that's happened. Absolutely sure.

Apparently, science explains that. If you're attracted by a person's natural smell, it means your immune systems are complimentary; that were your gametes to unite and create a child, that child's immune system would be way cooler than either of yours. Actually, I've also heard that when women are on the pill--that is, birth control--the hormone changes that causes makes you perceive those human scents differently, as well as changing your own. What you are basically doing is rendering your reproductive system ineffective, so that your body is no longer searching for the proper mix of fertility. That's just something to chew on.

My dad and I are at odds, but hmmm, I don't feel like writing about that. I'm just not in that mood. Suffice it to say, I've been led to think, "Remember, adult minds are still very flexible. It's never too late to harden your heart to your father."

Awww, what the fuck, I can't end on that note! Let's see, doodle doodle do, I have a crush on every boy, I'm so motivated and creative, clever and cute. I'm getting things done and I love science! Hooray, that's right. That's how my life goes.

10:13 p.m. 2004-09-20�