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My dinner meal consisted of 3 small carrots, 4 small thick pieces of cheese, 2 pieces of bread, and will be finished with a teacup of blueberries. Accompanied by water.

This is what I would consider a 'hobbit-meal' of modest proportions. Basically, if you could order it at the Prancing Pony (read your Tolkien!), it's a hobbit-meal. Something you could look forward to after a long hard day on the road. I find these to be mentally, as well as physically, nourishing. It can feel good to eat simple things that are not too far from their origin.

My last two entries have mentioned great enjoyment of food. I always thought that was a given that people enjoyed the tastes of things. Not so. Christianna once told me, "You know, it's good to hang out with someone who's into food. Carl (her boyfriend) isn't. But it's fun to talk about your meal, talk about good food, enjoy preparing and eating it. I missed that."

I suppose that's so. To me, good food is a good time. I think I got that from my parents. Shee-it, I think I got it from their culture. Filipinos gather around food. If you come to see your family, you better come ready to eat. If you don't, it's like not taking communion at church; what did you come for, then?

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Somehow, I have more energy when I have more things to do. A lot of people will agree, Yeah, that's true. But why is it not that way when you go to work? I'm just talking about my recent retail job. So yeah, there's a bunch of stuff to do--but at no point did that stuff ever feel like it was energizing me. Maybe in the first couple days, but then pfft. Going to work deflated me, in fact. Why? It's not as though all my other little things to do were so much more fun. Send a transcript. Check in with teacher. Get letter. Get paint.

I think it's perhaps because over time, work, ie retail, ends up amounting to one big thing to do. Instead of many little-different-new-useful things to do. Just one big thing that takes all day. Yeah, I'm not into that.

So I need to give myself a career where the needs of my job are constantly changing, and there are always new people to be in touch with; one that makes me run around a little and prioritize.

Yeah--I think I'm on the right track with what I've got in mind. It feels good to confirm.

12:53 a.m. 2004-05-11�

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