My friends were over till three last night, and I stayed up till five. I decided to let myself sleep in as much as I want, because I rarely ever do, and you know what? I woke up about fifteen minutes ago. It occurred to me to look at the clock, and I thought, Jesus, I'm doomed. How am I ever going to get to sleep tonight? Hey at least I'll be at my peak when we hit the supervillain clubs.

Alex calls them the supervillain clubs because in every cheesy action flick, the supervillain is in his own booth in a club with a bunch of beautiful women, and he strokes his goatee and goes, "Welcome to my club." And the camera does the sweep around the dance floor, deep house music and everyone's beautiful and jaded and poshed up. That's where we're going tonight. First time I've been 'clubbing'. It seems like a cheesy scene, but I like to dance, and so I'm sure I'll enjoy it regardless. Also, it'll be an excuse to look really good. And boy howdy do I love doin that.

Last night at Popscene was like a warmup. Hey, good warmup. We were in fine form. It was one of those evenings where you're just comfortable with the people you're with, and you know you look good, so you feel sexy, and everyone you're with is damn sexy, and you just feel good about that, you feel like you're the hot center of the freakin world.

And yesterday I went to bellydancing class for the first time in a while, and I wasn't at my best, but it was still good and invigorating and fun. My muscles are happily sore. And I figured out how to stand on my toes without hurting my injured foot. Good stuff.

And also (boy, yesterday was good, wasn't it?) I took my car out for an oil change, which was good. It had been a while. They had her hood up, and they were explaining to me that I needed a new fuel injection, and it occurred to me that these are the guys who know how to take care of my baby. It's like I'm taking my horse to the vet, I just have to trust that they know what they're doing and let them take care of her.

And on my way home, I passed by this place that I always pass, called the Frank Bette Center for the Arts. It's always looked interesting, but it's never pulled me in, and so I thought--Hey, I've got nothing urgent to do, it's open, why not stop in? So I did, and it was, suffice it to say, really cool. It is a nice homey mysterious little gallery with good exhibiting artists where they hold classes, workshops, and open mics. It is a cool little building, and it is a lot like the sort of thing I would dig to run. There's one woman that pretty much runs it, and when she came over and shook my hand, we both kinda did a double-take, and she was like, "Have we met?" I say, Not that I know of. And she says, "You look familiar... you feel familiar." I felt the same thing. Hey, we probably are familiar. Sometimes you just know when you meet a member of your spiritual family. She was probably my sibling or my best friend.

I like to play this mental game where when I make a strong connection with someone new, I like to conjecture as to how we knew each other in a previous life. My older sister was probably a husband, Alex was probably pretty much the same as he is now. I've met a number of husbands/boyfriends (many/most of them female), some wives, a lot of old friends, some siblings, and a very few children this way. Establishing a mental history with someone I've just met that I like makes me more comfortable around them.

I wonder if my rich and amazing dreams were a result of such a healthy and enjoyable day. Interesting new things discovered, good feelings had, body worked. But my dreams were good, rich, and involved. I seem to remember having been an animal at a few points. I was shown a couple significant secrets around a beach of some sort. I remember thinking, OH, this is relevant, I should wake up and write it down. I did wake up, but I couldn't surface enough to write or record it. Slipping back into sleep, I dreamed I worked at a supermarket. Retail--at least I wasn't at the art store, hey? I had this connection with a man who had a wife and child who didn't seem to notice or mind, and I walked them out to the car, ostensibly to carry their one bag of groceries for them. It was just this feeling of Ah, isn't it nice to be together. I put their bag of groceries in the trunk, and waved as they pulled out. Coming out of the supermarket, I saw this guy Robert who went to my high school. He was the pariah nerd, the social outcast with some physical and speech oddities to complement an arrogant attitude. It was an attitude that acted as a shell, since I guess people had been mean to him since before time began, and he didn't like his parents. We were friendly sometimes, but I was still embarassed when some idiots circulated a rumor that I "liked" him. I don't know that I made his high school experience any better, but I'm pretty sure that, unlike a lot of people, I didn't make it worse. Anyway, I saw him coming out of the supermarket, and he looked good, and I thought perhaps I should tell him so, and as he walked farther away, I shouted, "Hey Robert! Looking good!" He stopped to look back, and I waved and went back in.

I woke up peacefully, so satisfied, with the sun just beginning to reach my pillow. I'm still wondering if I can remember the secrets I was shown, but I figure, if I learned it on some level, then at least it's manifest within me and will be useful when I need it.

4:34 p.m. 2004-04-23�