I met Katharine's new boyfriend today, Josh. I approve heartily. The way she sounded when telling me about him, and just meeting him--he's a keeper. He is indeed handsome, but more importantly, they're in love. He really respects her and is all about her, and he is a decent, perceptive, caring person with a sense of humor. God but I wish she didn't have to leave him so soon.

And unfortunately, I didn't get the chance to mention him to Alex, so Alex found out about Josh when he came to meet us at the club tonight. He was surprised and when I told him that she'd been seeing Josh for a few weeks now. The only thing he really said in reaction was when they were dancing and holding each other, and Alex looked at me and said, "That's hard for me."

I understand, he's always had a crush on Katharine, but I don't have all that much sympathy. He had a huge window in which he could have moved, but he chose instead a girl who was stable but that he was never in love with. So it goes, and he loses.

And frankly, Josh and Katharine are wonderful together. He is a far better boyfriend to her than Alex could ever have been, much as I love him. When Josh first greeted me in the club, we exchanged names and clasped hands, and he nodded his head in Katharine's direction and said, "I care about that girl very much." I guess she'd told him about me. "Good to hear," I said. Good to hear.

And in regards to Alex's reactions, Miriam, the other girl hanging out with us tonight, was like, "What do you think? You like her, she likes you, but you never make a move, of COURSE she's going to find someone else!" And his face said Dammit, I know, but it still sucks.

It would be like if Cris were to be upset to find that I was dating someone else. It's like, I understand why you'd be upset, but shit, you chose the girlfriend. That's your deal.

And like Alex, he would be relieved but upset. Thus would be removed a source of inner conflict, but also gone would be the focused affection of someone important.

Last Saturday I gave my two weeks' notice for my job, and as people have found out, they've reacted mainly along the lines of, "Oh, why? What else are you doing instead?" Whereas Cris, I told him, and he gets all disappointed and goes, "Dude. That sucks. What a bummer." He is probably the only reason I will miss that job, besides the money. I truly look forward to when we share shifts at work, when we close, just whatever, you know? I really like looking him full in the face, and figuring out as I look at him if I even have anything to say to him, and if that even matters. But we always find something to say to each other, you know? If only to give ourselves the excuse.

You know, one of the things I like best about Cris is that he's so damn decent. Not as in 'Oh, he's a decent enough guy.' It's that he's so fundamentally decent. It's not quite 'considerate', because he doesn't even have to think about it, but it goes further than politeness. It's like, it is part of the fabric of his universe to care for the other human beings around him. He does things for people without thinking first that he ought to. And further wonderful, he just assumes that everyone thinks this way. It doesn't occur to him that he might be exceptional in this manner of treating people well.

This decency, I've begun to look for that in people. It's one of those things you figure out fast if someone has it or not. They just think of things that make sense, compromises that people can agree on. They will go the extra mile to make life pleasant, easy, and right.

Goodnight, sweet world. Thanks for another day in it.

3:39 a.m. 2004-04-23�