I love how internet banners act as an oracle. Because the things they say are random enough to become relevant to whatever it is you're thinking.

"Our systems bend over backward... so you don't have to." Don't think too hard about that Cris dude. Things are at work that you don't even know about, girl, so don't even worry about it.

Tonight was the store party. Bowling. You bet. Bowling is the most ghetto-fabulous FUN thing to do ever. It was cool! Dinner, drinks, and rounds of bowling paid for. I brought Alex and Katharine, and it was really funny, I was actually kind of nervous to have them meet the store people and Cris. It's like work and my friends are these two aspects of my life, me hardly ever expecting the twain to meet. Now they're meeting (specifically) this boy I (still) have a crush on, and work is meeting my friends. Just... weird.

But it was fun. Bowling is fun. It's one of the easiest things to do when people are semi-comfortable with each other. There are a million things to fiddle with, it's easy to act silly or just concentrate, and there's downtime (but not too much) between bowls. And you have the ghetto-fab pop music blaring from the speakers.

It was fun to just chill with folks. To laugh and be dorky. It's like that to some extent at the store, but there's always work to do.

The reactions were as I hoped; Katharine agreed that he's a cutie, while Alex had the appropriate older brother reaction for a decent guy: "Yeah, I don't know. He's a pretty boy." No he isn't. "Well, he's not a Zack from Saved By the Bell kind of pretty boy, he's an art store pretty boy." It's just cause of the hair (it's long and flippy). "Well, no it's the chucks, pants sort of sagging, white boxers, hasn't shaved for a couple days." Alex hadn't shaved for a couple days. "And I can vouch personally," smiling, "that you can't trust a guy that hasn't shaved for a couple days."

Katharine was the one who pinpointed it as the 'older brother reaction', and I was like, "Yeah, totally! I know that him and Cris would totally dig each other, but just cause I like him, he's like, I don't trust him. But if it's one of his friends, oh, then he's cool." Of course, I was half-joking when I said this, but it's true enough. It made me smile to think of it that way.

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Playstation, where are you?

Yup, I went ahead and got one on ebay. And I feel alright. You know, I figure the important part is, I resisted the impulse when it was inappropriate. The fact that I was able to make it through that terrible moment of weakness afforded me the freedom to make the right decision. And that was to get a Playstation. :)

And not get a cat. Yet. I'm going to be away from home for a month this summer, and that is too soon to be away from a new catmate for that long. If I'm going to get a cat, I have to get it after I get back. Then, I'll be better able to judge if I can a) afford it, and b) take care of it. Seeing as how I will then be in full swing at UC Berkeley (god willing), and all large/funky expenses (associated with redecorating and vacationing) out of the way, I'll know. And just ONE cat. I mean really, my parents were right. What was I thinking.

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Neon Genesis Evangelion is a great anime series! I recommend it for sure.

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I make so many weird mumbly noises when I'm alone, and sometimes when I'm not alone. I listened to myself the other day, and I realized that I am totally crazy-sounding. Like, I'll talk in voices to myself, I'll counsel myself aloud, just random bits of my inner dialogue escaping in words. Or I'll just make expressive noises. It's all in context to me, but if you were just overhearing me, I would sound so freakish.

Like when I read, and I'm really into a book, I speak the good bits aloud. And the other day, my roommate was home, but we were in our respective rooms, doors ajar, when I thought something really funny to myself. And I giggled, but afterwards I realized I couldn't tell whether I had said that thought aloud or not. It's not like it was something I didn't want him to hear, it's just that, isn't that kinda scary? Not quite being able to tell the difference between when you're thinking and talking? Not that I'm actually alarmed, but it's just further proof to me that I live pretty close to the land of crazy.

I'm not quite there, but I can see it without a telescope, if you get my meaning, my fuzzy little friend.

11:18 p.m. 2004-04-18�