I hung out last night with a couple people from work, namely Warren, Andrew, and his girfriend Amy.

Andrew (being neither Cris nor Mike) was someone I was stone dead sure was courting me with his life. Like, he's really into finding things we have in common, is always trying to think of fun things we can do together, and practically follows me around the store to talk unless a manager orders him away to do something.

The other day, I was waiting for a friend to meet me at the store after work. In the meantime, I was shopping for a few things, and Andrew was on closing shift, so he was hanging around. Luz was the other associate there. When I walked back to the break room to get something I forgot, she gave me this confused look; I assumed it was produced by thoughts like 'oh my god, you're flirting with him too?'

(Aside: Let's just establish that flirting is one of my favorite things to do EVER. Of course I was flirting with him. Why? Because I can.)

Now, I was never chasing Andrew. He's cool, he's cute, but I never invested. So that night Luz was ringing up my purchases at the register, and there was this girl talking to Eric, the manager. Luz tells me quietly, "Just so you know, that girl behind you is Andrew's girlfriend. Just so you know."

This information kind of floored me. Has the world gone insane? I have never encountered such mass numbers of men who act single even though they have serious, ostensibly monogamous, girlfriends. Alex is doing it too, with some other girl. For the past week I've been trying to fit this into my head. Why? Why would someone act single? Cris and Andrew both have acted like they're trying to get me out on a date! Like they're both trying to fall in love with me. Call me crazy, I thought that was what their girlfriends were for.

Anyways, So last night Andrew, Amy, Warren and I had dinner at a Thai cafe and then went over and played video games at Andrew's house. It was fun. It was cool. Amy was nice, she took it all in stride; they live together, they've been together for years.

So I've come to thinking that there's like, a new mode of affection and in-love that comes into play when you're into someone else but you've got a serious partner. There's the whole getting-to-know-you courting ritual where learn about each other and give the person pieces of yourself. I lent Cris my copy of the Arabian Nights, Cris bought a CD I recommended and wants to burn me some Incubus; we talk to each other about how our writing is coming along. The suchlike. So you have that, and you move into where you become attached to each other and comfortable around each other. It's like, you can go through all the motions of becoming and being a couple, but you're never a couple. See, that doesn't happen when you're single. And the bonus is that you can have as many of those kind of lovers as you want. Ain't bending or breaking NO rules. I guess.

What rules?

I guess I'm just trying to fit this new trend into my head in such a way that the institution of monogamy still stands--lovely--and there's nothing wrong with this, either. Feels like I'm bending over backwards to abolish my confusion as to just how this game is played. No rules, no game, and then what are you left with?

1:51 p.m. 2004-03-16�