Question: Am I becoming an architect again?

Prompted by mysterious ebay connections between disparate interests centering around architecture. Paul Laffoley, of course, being one of them;

and Arcosanti. I am thinking of spending my month in the summer there. Even if I go to Norway. Honestly, if I had to choose... I'd go to Arcosanti, out in the Arizona desert, a combination of simple desires and high aspirations. I am thinking about it.

In high school I was an architect for a couple years. I forget why I was so drawn to it. I had no inkling then as to the possibilities, and so why was I headed in that direction?

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Contemplating Calculus: I was thinking to myself earlier about how my pursuit and study of calculus is erratic at best. I asked myself, 'Do you not love it?' To which I replied, 'I only love it to the extent that it will help me get where I want.' It occurred to me that my performance in this class has been mediocre, at which I realized: 'The practice of mediocrity will not bring you to excellence.'

Also, my class has a large handful of very intelligent, very vocal males who are familiar with the material, and it bugs me. In precalculus, there were two males and three females who were the strong students, one of the females being me. Now it's all males, and I have decided to put it upon myself to be the strong female voice in my class. There has to be one; it feels like a boys' club. I notice how the lack of a strong female affects my confidence to speak in class, and I will simply not tolerate that. If it affects me, then it affects the other girls. I began speaking up the other day in class, and the atmosphere changed, for the better. I was glad of it, and I want to do more of that.

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Question: Would I rather be a leader of people, or an innovator of ideas? Not entirely sure yet.

2:45 p.m. 2004-02-17�