As a warning, I'm spending this entire entry complaining. Continue at your own risk.

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Just goes to show that I'm a trendsetter. I bid on the first two photographs of Paul Laffoley's work to go on ebay after an eternity and I get them at the lowest price with no contest. Then four more photographs of his work go up, two that are not even under his name, and I lose a last-second bidding war for ALL of them and they go up to thrice the price offered. You assholes! I am ENTITLED!

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Oh, so now I'm on crutches. Crutches!!! I bought them because it was just too painful to walk on my foot, and then I go to a podiatrist, and he's like, "Oh, we need to put your foot in a soft cast and you'll be on crutches for two weeks." WHAT?!? I was thinking like, Oh, I'll be on crutches for the next few DAYS. Then I'll be limping but functional. Two weeks? I have never been thus injured. I don't like it. It's incredibly frustrating. And the doctor's like, "Take it easy. Take it slow." I did not structure my life such that I could take it slow OR easy. My job practically requires a healthy, fully functional body; I have class on a campus that is not easy to get around; I have activities that take my time and legwork; and for the next two weeks of ceramics I won't be able to use my other foot for stability at the wheel. Take it easy.

And pain is distracting, and draining. Simply being in pain makes me less productive, and I need more sleep because part of me is mending. I spent pretty much all of Sunday and Monday just being in pain. I'm behind in my homework; and my house needs cleaning, which is the most frustrating part of all. My house is a mess. And with my current level of energy, it's like, EITHER I go to work and class and do the rest of the things I'm supposed to do, OR I clean and take care of my house and plants. Either/Or? No! Goddamit, this is The most frustrating part of being injured, is that I do not have the energy to stand at the sink for an hour to wash the dishes that are Piling Up. And I do not have the energy for all the little back-and-forths required to pick up the living room. The easiest things remain undone because it requires more.

And frankly, I want my mommy. I am raher distraught that my parents are nowhere in the vicinity, because if they were, they would help me with everything that is stressing me the fuck out. They would do that and more. It wouldn't even be an issue. But they are in the Philippines till after this weekend, and I have never needed them so badly. I need to clean out my fridge and go grocery shopping. I have so little fresh food, and grocery shopping on crutches is a logical impossibility. In a heartbeat, they would do it. Without thinking, they would do it. And I just want them here. I'm hurting and I'm struggling and I want my family.

This morning I went to the doctor again because the soft cast he gave me was hurting me. He adjusted it and gave me a post-op shoe. Now I'm supposed to go to the DMV to get a temporary disability parking pass and then to Caluculus, and both of those seem like gargantuan tasks. Then in ceramics yesterday I accidentally left three thrown pieces out in the open air, so they're probably bone-dry already and I won't be able to work on them like I had planned; but maybe they're not bone-dry and I should save them from the shelf and put them in the damp room. That also sounds like an epic task, and I can't carry a loaded board by myself, so I'd have to ask for help. I'm tempted to just let them go to shit, although that's not very 'advanced student' of me.

In addition to all that, I still have two applications I need to finish, one to SF State and one for the UC Alumni Scholarships. And some flyers to design for ASLC. And I haven't even started the Arts Club this semester.

Take it easy?

10:14 a.m. 2004-01-29�