I have become really infrequent here, haven't I?
So, Mark is great. I mean, way way great, really really. I really like him. I think he is already my best boyfriend, and I'm glad I'm not with AaronB. Wow!
I now find Mark quite attractive and I am quite fond of him. And now that that's out of the way, all the things that made him Almost-great now make him great. I like his face and his body and his voice, and I don't know what I was thinking, because he smells really good. He's multi-talented, open, considerate, mature, and jovial. And he is a goddamn wonderful lovemaker (we haven't had sex per se, but it couldn't really be said that we have not had sex). We really really fit. We really fit.
I still love him, but now there is no way I would leave Mark for AaronB. AaronB's a great friend, and it's true that I feel alive when I talk with him, but I am 90-something-percent sure that he would not be as good a partner for me.
Bonus: Mark doesn't seem like a guy who will cop out on account of "issues". I have a history of boys who suddenly admit to having unexplainable "issues" that preclude our being together. It will be a small piece of happiness if that is never again used as an excuse to a) break up with me, or b) act like a jerk after having broken up with me.
Mark's going to cook me dinner tomorrow night at his house (he lives alone, has a car, and doesn't live too near or too far, hallelujah for little luxuries!), and then I will be going (with handsful of friends, sans Mark) to Bear Valley to hang with Nicole and x-country ski or snowboard (whichever is free, what).
And let me give you a little tip: look up the Visual Thesaurus online. I am incredibly lazy and so am not going to give you a link. You only get a couple of searches at a time for free, but lemme tell you, if it appeals to you at all and you think you might use it, the $11.95 year subscription is SO worth it. Be sure to put the settings to 3D (versus 2D, which is the default), and then put it on autopilot to have quite the experience. w00t!
1:52 a.m. 2005-01-05
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